Saturday, August 12, 2017

Facebook Follies

Sometimes it occurs to me how short life is, and how much time I spend on Facebook. These are amusing observations that I have made so far, many of which I have been guilty of, at one time or another:

Going to click the “laugh” button on a funny post, which instead lands on a post about someone’s father who died, when your browser shifts.

Posting news about something that makes you happy, which somehow turns into something else entirely when the respondents go on about how what makes you happy is not politically correct, or some other non-related issue, and then you have to delete your post, making you feel unhappy.

Clicking “like” and  on posts of photos of friends of friends that you don’t even know.

Posting a meme about something that inspires or outrages you with a significant message, only to discover that it isn’t true, after all.

Having to check with so often that the hits on Snopes makes their stocks skyrocket.

Saying “Happy Birthday” to someone EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Having FB friends that don’t seem to ever be on there telling you in person how much they know about you and your life – from Facebook!

Never missing a day of checking in to Facebook – even when on vacation – because you might miss something.

Lots of “selfies”. Through the years, trying to find better angles for “selfies.” Finally posting selfies of pets or long-shots of oneself.

Either that, or keeping one consistent photo of oneself which never changes through the years, like Dorian Gray.

Doing quizzes made up by pimply teens about where I might live, what superhero I am, or what color my aura is, and taking them half-seriously.

Taking pictures of my food when I eat out, so that my Facebook friends know that I’m eating out.

Sharing photos on FB of me with real-life friends when we go out, so that the rest of my Facebook friends know that I have a life.

Asking medical advice from my Facebook friends, before seeing my doctor.

Avoiding the copying and pasting chain letter posts which imply that one is a terrible person if they don’t respond and "share".

Checking in to a hospital or medical clinic, without giving a reason, thus alarming friends and family.

“Taking on” all of the sorrow from posts about FB friends' loved ones who have passed (human and non-human). Trying to learn not to empathize so much.

Posting an album with 150 photos of one’s children, pets, or vacation that time-pressed FB addicts have to “get back to”, but never do.

Making a comment that you think is funny, but no one else gets the joke, then deleting your comment, because it was causing offense.

Knowing which of your FB friends is high or has been drinking, just by their off-kilter comments.

OR...they have been hacked by their son or daughter, who is a real jokester.

Trying to figure out the meaning of a post when it is just one line without explanation, with little meaning to you.
You find that time goes way faster than you realized while on FB, and now you are late for work!

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